The Latest

Lordy, Lordy, Lordy. What have I gotten myself into?

Welcome back to the BeetleMilk blog, an uncomfortably candid rip off of a Kevin Smith book title. By the way, you should read “My Boring Life”. Word up to Mr. Smith, Reboot was great.

What do I want to talk about today? What blasphemy will I dish out?

Well, normally I am pretty even tempered on these posts, even though I like to front like I’m gonna be rolling in on a SatanMobile, drinking El Satano red soda and blasting “Shout At The Devil”... but the truth is that I have a deep respect for religious belief and faith. I just don’t get to show it off very often. Especially when you consider my company, BeetleMilk. 

Behind many of our religiously inspired designs is a healthy respect, and a desire to not blaspheme, but to educate.

Besides my desire to educate, I also like to talk. 

all of this is to tell you that I have been brought on as a member of the Lore-Cast podcast crew, to discuss what Nick and I believe is the most important lore in history - religious lore. 

FINALLY.

Finally I can get into all of the cool little stories and tidbits that inform people’s belief systems - we aren’t just going into Christianity, nooooooo. Judaism, Islam, Paganism, all of them... will get treated with respect and dignity as we break down the pertinent points of why people follow those belief systems. Outside of, you know... childhood indoctrination.

Check out the first episode here: https://www.twitch.tv/lore_cast/video/540351256

Reader,

I’ve been wanting to do a podcast for a while.

So, I just did the first one. I was going to just use the transcript for this blog, but it came out looking like a transcript of Trump romancing a Russian callgirl. So, instead I’m going to type out my thoughts here.

My first podcast should have been called “Tough Love”, because I wanted to get something across that’s really hard to say without sounding like a complete asshole. Basically - I’m offended at the amount of my artistic contemporaries think like artists, as opposed to marketers. There’s this idea that seems to be infecting the community, that just because you put a lot of work into it, somehow we should care.

That is a nasty trap to fall into. Nobody cares how easy or hard your task was. For example, can you name one makeup or prosthetics artist from a movie set? Can you name the engineer that mixed “Sunflower”, by Post Malone (Which I’m listening to while typing this out)? No. But their job was arguably harder than that of the actors you can name, the musicians. One thing that people tend to forget is that in order for there to be a celebrity, dozens of people have to prop them up. BeetleMilk would be NOWHERE without the help of a few key early adopters. 

So, let me ask you this. Do you get angry when you see a banana taped to a wall selling for 100k? Does that piss you off because you slaved over a beautiful picture for weeks and it got 5 likes on Instagram? You shouldn’t be angry. Truly. The creator knew the right people. Your favorite indie artist (Mine is BlushSprout) understands marketing and uses it well. BeetleMilk counts in this category as well. Tatiana is an artist to the bone, but ya boy… I’m a (aspiring) marketer. You need to think like me if you ever wanna make some spare change doing this.

The fun of having a marketing blog on a website that is marketing occult and pastel goth apparel is not lost on me, by the way. I don’t know, I’m a confused human. I want to sell you something, and have people buy stuff from you.

Ok. So, I got that out of my system. Now, let’s talk solutions.

The only way you will succeed is by finding out why people like/dislike your stuff, and determining what need your stuff fulfills. I’m dead serious. If your art doesn’t fulfill a need, you might as well become an accountant. People only buy stuff that meets one of two qualifications:

1. They need it to survive
2. It gives them a certain feeling or reflects something about them.

This is why it’s so easy to sell fan art. It very easily reflects something about the buyer. They like Pooh, and they like Midsommer. Boom, Beastwreck has a sale. I really do like that design, by the way, even if I’ve never seen Midsommer. And won’t, because Hereditary scared me shitless.

But fan art is dangerous, especially if you’re fucking with the Mouse House. I advise against it, although it’s a great way to kickstart sales when you are starting out. BeetleMilk isn’t trying to get slapped with a C&D, but you do you.

A much preferable path, in my opinion, is to create your own brand and market it until people recognize it. Market the FUCK out of it.

For example, one day Tatiana was drawing a picture and came up with these… like, hermaphroditic demons. Succubi/Incubi. She started drawing them onto Tarot Cards… and we have a product on our hands that can be leveraged for profit. We decided to take a different route and give them away for free, but people collect them, which leads to back end profits as people get caught up. What does this reflect about our buyers? 

People like to collect. People like demons. By having the succubi/incubi be hermaphroditic, we indicated that we don’t adhere or worry about traditional gender norms, which is reflective of many people. I wash the dishes, Tatiana will work on pipes. We live by that ideal. Many people do Tarot readings and follow the results. It’s not a crazy idea.

Ok, I’m gonna wrap this up. This week, do me a favor and figure out why people should buy your stuff, and then MARKET IT.

Devin

Website: www.BeetleMilk.com

Insta: @BeetleMilk

Twitter: @BeetleMilkStuff

Pinterest: @BeetleMilkStuff

Youtube: Youtube.com/BeetleMilk

BeetleCast Podcast Available at all major podcast platforms

I don't believe in Satan.

Somebody once said that the best weapon that Satan has on Earth is that people don't believe in him. Well, that's fucking convenient, ain't it?

If you believe in Satan, and by proxy God, don't let me give you any static. Religious belief is constituted of this weird amalgamation of culture, family, location, and personal experience. I cannot answer any religious questions for you (the important ones, anyway. I can definitely give specific details on biblical events.), only for me.

By now, you're probably asking yourself why I'm talking about this, if not to convert you all to apostates and heretics?

Well, it's actually to talk about the time since June 5th, 2019. Six months in review. six months walking the Devil's Road. Although I have to theorize that if they do exist, I'm renting the space.

2019 was the year that we realized we could do this. We could make this our life, our driving force. I explained in a previous blog how our reformat started, but I haven't really explained the factors that made it survive past that initial run of Goetic shirts.

Hard Fucking Work.

Also luck, great fans, a Discord Server, two models, An internet search for great pin suppliers, a heat press, Wikipedia and Archive.org, a lot of long conversations about the future, a move to another state, and the frankly overwhelming love of our small but amazing Congregation.

Definitely started a cult this year, the BeetleCult.

If it's been weird to watch the site go from a ragged site to this slick site, or us from hobbyists to full-timers... try being us!

More to follow. Enjoy the new gear!

D

Hello.

I’m gonna be real with you – I titled this post as I did just because I know people will be looking into occult philosophy, and although neither of these two terms – “Occult” or “Philosophy” – will be competing in the Google SEO realm quite like… say… “Jennifer Lopez Ass Implant (I think it’s real, J-Lo. Call a brother sometime.), I do know that many people find the philosophy of the Hermetics interesting.

My name is Devin. I write comics. I make clothes. I blog, apparently, although this is just as much news to you as it is to me. I sell occult influenced apparel and if we have an issue, I suggest you get back to searching for J-Lo’s missing lovechild on Google. If you’re into that freaky demonology type shit, http://www.beetlemilk.com is the address.

As a writer, I believe that it’s important to establish very early in the story what exactly you are trying to say. A statement of intent. That first paragraph? That was my statement of intent. I shouldn’t be writing this out, should trust you to draw your own inferences, but fuck it. In that paragraph I showed at least a passing knowledge of occult philosophy (Not complete though, I’m about halfway through The Kybalian), as well as Google SEO best practices. I go on to establish that I’m a writer/entrepreneur and frame my credentials as a storytelling tactic.

This blog is not about me, Devin, who wears so many hats and looks AMAZING in them. This blog is about the journey of learning how to kick ass and take names as an artist (writing is an art, shut up) and CEO. From Demonology to Facebook ads, I’ll cover it all – because I want to.

So, where to start?

I guess I should say something about where I’ve come from, where I’m going, and I’d like to thank god and the Academy, or something…

Nah.

Y’all will figure it out over time.

No, I want to talk about dreams. Not like literal dreams about J-Lo (Hi, Kanye). I want to talk about the type of dreams that you won’t allow yourself to dream. Maybe it’s because you’re scared. Maybe it’s because your mama doesn’t like you. Don’t feel bad, I feel you. Maybe it’s because our socio-economic structure is focused around keeping the wealthy where they are and repressing the rights of the downtrodden in a commercialistic version of communism where the upper class counts as the government due the proliferation of lobbyists in the highest halls of our great nation? Fucking fuck, don’t get me started.

It was nice not being on the FBI watchlist. Orwell, meet Devin.

Seriously though, Think this through. You are an artist of some type. Painting, blogging… law. I mean, the gates to becoming an artist aren’t that high. Rick Rubin is arguably the world’s most famous producer and he just sat on the couch eating Cheetos out of his beard when Slipknot were recording Volume 3. It really isn’t all that complicated. He probably caused System of a Down to break up, whatever. Normal day to day shit.

So, you are an artist of some type (If you aren’t good at anything, get off this blog and pick up a book. I don’t know if your parents told you, but the world only pays talented and/ or sexy people. Everyone else gets to languish in the lower or middle classes – IF THEY ARE LUCKY.), and if you think for some reason that you can’t be like the Army in the 90’s, All You Can Be (Iraq veteran here, you’re welcome)…

Well, you’re wrong.

And I have proof.

Paris Hilton (Low hanging fruit, I know.)

The Kardashians (Lower.)

Every Instagram influencer in the History of History (Except Gary Vee… does he count?)

Every one of them have no talents that any of us can locate besides being hot to a good portion of society. Oh, and they somehow figured out how to turn themselves into multimillion dollar brands and will never work another day in their life. Unless, you know, they want to. That might not apply to the influencers, but they make more money than me. Which is cool, go get yours, booboo.

So if talentless sex objects can become market forces, what stops you? I’m assuming you have at least a little talent. Or maybe you’re sexy (Before you ask, I’m flattered but I’m happily married, kthxbai). I don’t know you. I’d like to, though. Drop a comment. Say what’s up.

All you need are the tools.

And before you ask, yes, I have a few of them. BeetleMilk has sold hundreds of comics, done several interviews, does thousands in revenue at conventions and online, and has an active campaign on petition.org to shut down our business because we sell Satanic imagery to kids.

Ok, I lied about that last one. I WISH that was true. Corpus Christi, I’d love the press. Somebody start one and send me a wink emoji so I know it was you.

The best part about this blog, though, besides my near-Deadpool levels of wit, is that I’m learning too! So you get to hang out while I make the mistakes for you. Yes, that’s the biggest part of this. Making mistakes. Like dropping four new designs on the same day with at least ten variants each, leading to massive chaos with your T-Shirt supplier. That was last month. I’m a genius.

Ok, so cool.

I’ve established my alibis.

Back next week.

D.

Holla! (Sorry, jamming some Missy Elliot)

Today, September 1st, Tatiana and I released an artistic experiment gone awry.

The story goes something like this:

A few months ago, Tatiana explained to me that while she was enjoying the work she was doing for BeetleMilk, she didn't feel like she was pushing her boundaries artistically.

Now, I'm an entrepreneur, as well as a creative (nice to meet you, I run the company). I understand that there is always this balance between artistic expression and commercialism. Sometimes, it's hard to blend that line correctly and that just doesn't sell in my experience. Needless to say, I found it very alarming that she was implying that she "sold out".

So, I asked her what she wanted to do. Her answer wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear. You see, Tatiana REALLY likes making edgy art. Full frontal nudity edgy. Annnnnnnd that's a problem because we can't advertise it. Facebook bans it damn near automatically. So the only chance of it being seen was by people stumbling upon it on the site - which are not odds that are conducive to staying in business.

I like being in business.

The subject kinda stayed dormant for a while, until she developed our first tarot card, The Devil. It featured hermaphroditic demon... children? It's hard to tell. 

Can we just appreciate the fact that I just had to type that? Thanks.

They had male genitals. Which is fine, I guess. But not conducive to business. They had breasts. No problem, if you are making religious art. Which, I guess, in a way we are. 

So, I explained to her that in order to release it, we'd have to censor it. And we did - on the T-Shirt. When we later released the actual tarot card, it was uncensored.

Compromise.

So, Tatiana started getting fascinated with her little Hellish Goat Kid Things. She started taking photos on trips and in the world, and drawing them into the pictures. She released a few of them on Instagram, because why not, and people flipped. They loved the mix between cartoons and real life. 

Nice!

So, now they are T-Shirts. We did an uncensored version, which is limited to 20, and a censored version. I hope they do well, but either way it was an interesting trip to bring them to you. In a way they are Tatiana's children.

Enjoy.